preparing.for.your.birth {Charleigh Mykael}

Eagerness, anxiety, joy, curiosity, and wonder flood my heart and at times consume my thoughts...

Thirty-five, nearly thirty-six weeks have past since God began forming you. His incredible design formed your every part with a uniqueness that is unmatchable. {Only final touches remain...}

Daddy has been ready for your arrival for thirty-five, nearly thirty-six weeks. It's nearly a daily occurrence that he utters "Charleigh, can you hurry this up please". He patterns his love and affection for you as Christ loves and cares for us.

Ryleigh's love for you fills my heart with such delight. In precious moments she embraces you {with hugs to my belly} with sweet, soft words "Charleigh, this is your sister and I love you".

24 days remain. 24 days. 24 days until your first breathe and sensation of touch. 24 days. 24 days until we embrace. 24 days. 24 days until we are a family of 4. 24 days.

Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Psalm 127:3 (NASB)

Charleigh Mykael...welcome to the family...we love you...

Ryleigh's 4

Ryleigh turned 4 at 8:29pm yesterday...

The memories of her 4 years years of life flooded my brain over the last week or so: the infant moments - three hour feeding schedule, jaundice, hospitalizations, diaper blowouts, preemie clothes, teething, sitting up alone, solid food, calming affect of Something Beautiful by Newsboys, scooting backwards, crawling, bruises, hearing "mama" and "dada", walking; the toddler moments - building her vocabulary with words and phrases, running in the yard with her puppy, experiencing and trying new things, dancing with joy, singing along to Christian music, riding her four wheeler, traveling to several states, going to Disney World, snuggling with mommy and daddy, wearing glasses, praying and and singing of her love for Jesus...

And the journey continues...

She is turning into a young lady in front of my tear filled eyes. My heart literally aches and rejoices all at the same time. Praying that God uses Ryleigh's tender heart, passionate character, and loving spirit in an amazing and special way for His honor and glory. I am so honored and excited to be able to personally witness this incredible journey.

Mommy loves you Ryleigh Jo...

A Little Message

In my office there is a little daily calendar given to me by my parents at Christmas as a stocking stuff. It sits between my laptop and phone. On most days I pay little to no attention to it. But last week, as I flipped and tore off the previous day and read the words, the words touched my heart...

"Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans." -Thomas la Mance

Planning for the future is thrilling for me. Planning every second of every day is just whom I am. It gives me a sense of SECURITY. PEACE. ACCOMPLISHMENT. WORTH...and the lists goes on.

As I repeatedly read the words to this 12 word quote, my heart aches. While planning can be good and wise, my heart and intentions many times are all wrong. My dependence on Jesus Christ shifts from the cross to myself. My focus on being a help mate for Jared and loving and caring mother to Ryleigh diminish...and the list goes on...

God's Word reminds me in Hebrews 12:2 "Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

Beauty of Creation...

"Worthy are You, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and because of Your will they existed, and were created." Revelation 4:11 NASB

Lately we have been taking long bike rides on trails and I have been reminded of how BIG God is and how small I am. As well as how beautiful is His creation.

The wildlife that we have encountered so far have been bison, cows, birds, bats, rattlesnakes, white tail deer, rabbits, frogs, and squirrels. Many of which I am terrified of, but nonetheless, enjoy seeing in their natural habitats...at a distance.

Typically, if it's extremely hot and humid outside, we try to wait to go until dusk. On occasion we ride home with the moon and stars shining bright in the sky. It's incredible to just look up and know that God Himself created EVERYTHING we see. In these moments, I turn up the iPod and listen to How Great Is Our God and just cruise.

I'm so thankful for a living, breathing, and all powerful God.

"For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things have been created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together." Colossians 1:16, 17

Keeping My Distance...

Have you ever heard someone say "what is the world coming to" or "can you believe that someone did that"? Are we really shocked by the sin and anguish of the world? The Bible warns us repeatedly.

It pains my heart to hear, see, and/or experience sin. I can't even imagine how Christ feels every time I fail and sin.

Even with the sin and anguish of the world, we must remember and live by Philippians 3:14 "I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

Romans 12:2 says, "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."

Sin shouldn't be like a cliff that we approach, toes over the edge, rocks falling, and trying to get as close as possible. We need to stay as far away from sin as possible...

No More Pain...

Physical pain has been apart of me. As a child, teenager, and through young adulthood, I have experienced many medical conditions and complications.

I'm so thankful that in heaven there will be no more pain. I will have a perfect, glorified body. One of the most comforting things for me to sing is...

I WILL RISE by Chris Tomlin

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

To be honest and vulnerable, there are those times when the pain is overwhelming and I "feel" alone. I know in my heart and head that I am NEVER alone, but my human, sinful nature doubts these truths. It is so encouraging to remember that He tells us in His Word in Hebrews 13:5, "...I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU..." (NASB).

Another song that has truly encouraged me during these times is...

YOU WERE ON THE CROSS by Matt Maher

Lost, everything is lost
Everything I've loved before is gone
Alone, like the coming of the frost
And a cold winter's chill in my stony heart

Where were you when all that I've hoped for?
Where you when all that I've dreamed?
Came crashing down in shambles around me?
You were on the cross.

Pain, could you take away the pain,
If I find someone to blame, would it make my life seem easier?
Alone, all my friends are asleep,
And I can't find anyone to stay awake with me

Where were you when sin stole my innocence?
Where were you when I was ashamed?
Hiding in a life I wish I never made

You were on the cross,
My God, my God,
Alone,
Alone,
You were on the cross,
You died for us,
Alone,
Alone,
You were on the cross,
Victorious.
Alone.

You were there in all of my suffering
You were there in doubt and in fear
I'm waiting on the dawn to reappear

To receive comfort from the Healer, One who experienced pain and anguish himself is unfathomable.

II Corinthians 12:7-10 "Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me--to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I implored the Lord (D)three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness " Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong" (NASB).

Bittersweet...

Today is a very bittersweet day. My baby is three years old at 8:29pm. I love that she's growing and maturing, but at the same time I miss the 100% dependence on mommy and daddy. It does help that she still wants to be our baby and to even be called "baby".

Birthdays in our family are a BIG deal. We try to do anything and everything possible to make birthdays so special. We have a very fun day planned. First lunch, a place of her choosing. Then to the mall to pick out an outfit from Baby GAP and spent about $20 in Claire's. After shopping, we're going to see How To Train A Dragon. Hopefully she'll be super tired by this point and ready to take a quick nap before her birthday party. After her party, she'll want to watch Snow White, The Little Mermaid, Cars, and Bolt...her favorites right now.

Ryleigh is such a blessing to Jared and me. She's funny, intelligent, analytical, sweet, etc...HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Ryleigh Jo. I love you so much!!!